There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
