I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
