these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
