i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
