so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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