then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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