You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
