Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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