It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
