eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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