Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
