I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
