So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
