We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
