Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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