Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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