omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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