Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
