five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
did you just send me my own nude
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
