So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If that was your dad, he is hot
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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