pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
