and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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