Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
