Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
