I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
