I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
