k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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