I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
