weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
