So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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