i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
