They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
