When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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