Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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