Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
