drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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