i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
