Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize