So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
