I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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