Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
