I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
