It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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