I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
