I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize