You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
