I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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