Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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