I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
