: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
