I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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