Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
