On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
