I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize