i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
