you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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