Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
