She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
