the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
